Insha'Al-Leo

For the last few weeks I have decided to live my life in the same manner Muslems seem to approach just about everything: Insha'Allah. Translated to English this means roughly "If Allah wills it, it shall be done." Let me tell you, Insh'Allah is absolutely liberating. When my boss asks me if something is done I simply reply, "Insha'Allah." When I make plans, I no longer check my calender, I just say "Insha'allah." I have even stopped wearing a seat belt, hard hat, or jockstrap because hey "Insha'Allah." It might actually be better than "Hakuna Matata."

There is one problem I have encountered with Insha'Allah however. It appears that Allah is not interested in sweeping the floor or taking out the trash or doing laundry either. Actually, as far as I can tell, he is as lazy as I am. It also seems that writing a blog does not rank very highly on his to do list. Go figure. So now I guess it is up to me to get this blog, and the mountain of laundry in my room, done. Maybe I should change my philospohy to Insha'Al-Leo. "If Leo wills it, it shall be done." Im not saying...Im just saying.

Now on to the pictures:

So it appears that I have an astute group of readers who were not fooled by biased portrayal of Kuwait. Several of you have pointed out that Kuwait is actualy a wealthy country with one of the more progressive governments in the Middle East. So in an attmept to reconsile the previous blogs I have posted with some facts, I will now show you the other side of Kuwait. The side that few military members will ever get to see, and I have been fortunate enough to enjoy.

First the mall: You all know how much I love to shop, so when a trip to the mall was needed to price some new exercise equipmet, I was the first to volunteer. The pictures below are from the Souq Sharq, or Sharq Center.





Took this picture for Emily. MAC is her favorite place and I thought is would be cool for her to see it written in English and Arabic.


This is a clock that works purely on water pressure. We stood and watched it for a few miutes to try and figure it out. In the end I am convinced it is just magic. As you can see it was about 8:08 when I took this pic. Pretty neet.



We also went the 360 mall. It was much bigger and much busier. Definitely a different vibe here. If it werent for the women dressed like Ninja's you could think you back in America for a moment. The car below was for sale in the middle of the mall. Thought it was pretty bad ass so I snapped a pic.





The best part of the mall was definitely the indoor archery range. This just has bad idea written all over it. It wasn't even in a store, just people in the middle of the mall shooting arrows. So logically we joined in on the fun. This is a picture of one of my crew enjoying in the terrorist training. I wonder if somewhere in another mall there is an indoor range where you can learn how to throw rocks at a tank?





Dinner at the mall was an adventure all to itself. I will update this in a couple of days with all of the details. Thank you all for reading, I will talk to you soon.

The English language...and a few other things.

First off I would like to thank the few of you who actually take the time to read this. I appreciate both of you! Actually I have gotten pretty good feedback from my little experiment, and in turn am inspired to take more pics and write more stuff. I would like to make a special thanks to my moms friend Nancy who may be my biggest fan, even though we have never met. Thanks Nancy.

So for this installment I would like to start with a spelling and grammar lesson. While I am definitely no Webster when it comes to spelling (and no, not the midget from the TV show), the Army has done things to the English language that would embarrass Flavor Flave. Now I don't know whether the blame lies with the Army, or the locals who make the signs, but I do know there is plenty of blame to go around.

My first exhibit comes in the form of a sign. The same sign that is proudly displayed at the entrance to every military installation in the great land.



Now I can ignore the hyphen between "with" and "out" because really, compound words confuse me as well. But "Permation", really? Did the spell check not work on the sign making machine? And what low end Army officer signed off on the receipt of these signs? "Yes, sir! Looks good to me. Lets go ahead and order 200 of them." I am personally a fan of these signs because they give me a good chuckle every time I come back to the base.

So the bathrooms, or as the Army calls them, Latrines, here smell like shit. Pun definitely intended. So instead of cleaning and disinfecting them, the Army goes to great lengths to just try to cover up the smell. So instead of a clean, fresh, Lysol smell, the bathrooms smell like somebody shit a bouquet. One of the cover up methods is to hang these round air fresheners in every available nook and cranny.

While I appreciate the effort, and understand why they use them, I am curious what people have attempted to use these for in the past. In particular with their children. Click on the picture below to blow it up and read the warning at the top, you will understand what I mean.

I'm not exactly sure what "keep out of children" means, but those things are delicious!

While these assaults on the English language may be egregious in their own right. There is one word that seems to confound all who dare to attempt spelling it. Instead of telling you the word, I have photographic evidence of the crime. These are actual pictures taken from various latrines, showers and offices around lovely Camp Arifjan. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the guilty.

Sealing light? what are we sealing with the light? How exactly does light seal? I need answers!

At least "Sealing" is an actual word in the English language. And I wont even get started on EX-HAUST, my head might explode.

How does that go again? I before E except after..Oh fuck it!

The best part is, I am yet to find one where CEILING is spelled correctly. I have had my camera on my 24/7 for the last 3 weeks looking for it. I will keep you posted.

And finally this:

I don't about you, but I am pretty sure that doesn't say "McDonald's". Was this guy drunk when he made the sign? Did he fall asleep half way through making it? Whats with all the squiggly lines? I'm confused!


I had a few random pics that I wanted to post, but they don't really fit into anything I wanted to write about. I figured I would just make an addendum to this post and throw them in at the bottom. Consider this a Post Script.

So I got a text from the Taliban the other day. Not really sure what it says, but I am pretty sure I now have a Jihad on me. I like the idea of a text Jihad. Maybe from now on we can just have holy wars over face book. Verbal salvos launched with smiley faces and lol's. That's my kind of war.



And finally another reminder of just how damn hot it is here. This is a snapshot of my desktop I took the other morning. Click on the picture to blow it up, pay attention to the time and temp. Yes indeed folks, its gonna be a long hot summer.